…ok, so 8 is not very much. It’s really like who cares. And I don’t. BUT, I know I will, and each time I see a new little grey (white actually) hair growing it reminds me that one day (one day soon) I will have to make that decision to dye or not to dye.
You see, I’m a natural brunette, and very happy with my hair colour. When I was younger I used the occasional 6 week tint to give it a deeper glow, some shine, but havent done that in like 6 years. It’s dark, rich, glossy, brown hair. I like it as it is.
So now when I see these little grey peepers coming through, I’m thinking do I dye (i.e. change my habit of not dying so I don’t look grey) or do I just get more salt in my pepper and go with it.
Arguments against dying: I probably still look as nice with or without grey hairs, it’s costly, takes time I don’t have (or would rather be doing other things), I hate the grey roots look, and I can’t be bothered.
Arguments for: I don’t want grey hair, I want to keep what I always had, I don’t like the way grey hair looks (on me).
Also creeping in here is a resentment that I feel like this, that I have to make this decision and based on that I will be perceived (by myself and others) in one way or another. If you dye it no one notices or even thinks about it, if you don’t you are making the statement that you are cool with grey, or you can’t be arsed or you are happy with yourself just as you are (right on!).
If I was to go a bit deeper with that I would say it’s like one more example that being a women is so often about taming your natural self (body hair, fat, grey hair) to be ok, to feel ok, to be less visible, to not be noticed, commented on, scrutinised. It’s like “oh fuck it, I don’t want my leg hair/belly fat/grey hairs to make me stand out or to be seen, I will just shave it/cover it/dye it” (submit to the system) again and again…
So, looks over morals and money. Can’t be arsed (and feel against it in principle, to be honest) vs want to look my best self (youngest self, acceptable self…?)
Ach, the annoying thing is, I’m so gonna dye it.
PS thanks Fanny P for unknowingly prompting me to get round to writing this one 😉