Tech-haters gonna hate

Look how happy he is!
Look how happy he is!

I’ll just go ahead and say it: I’ve bought my kids tablets for Christmas.

I’ve had so many incredulous looks and even a “I don’t like that” proceeding that utterance that I feel as if that is some kind of sick statement akin to “I’ve bought my kids machine guns for Christmas”.

But it’s not. And if I need to defend myself (do I? I feel I do): a) they are not going to have unlimited access to them, b) I am getting the use of my iPad and laptop back (which they hog), and c) last but not least they are gonna LOVE them. Win win.

I am for the record a hands on mum (again, why the need to justify?), I cook, craft and read to my kids. My kids in turn love to cook, craft and read. And game and watch. Yes, they love to watch cartoons (gasp!) and play computer games (bite me!).

Yes, I know Steve-bloody-Jobs’ kids weren’t allowed a lot of tech time (mine get about up to 2 hours but not every day), they had big, calm, talk-filled family dinners *instead* and that’s great, fine and dandy. I totes respect that and I also respect all the nannies and cleaners that made that even more calm and nutritious. But I do let mine use tech, and it doesn’t make me a bad parent.

Let’s talk about this word *instead*: let’s just break it down here. It implies (and this is the underlying implication) that you are either the “type” of parent that is strict on tech, has family dinners and are generally holistic with their kids OR you let them use tech and are slack and lazy. Something smacks of judgment here, and that’s how I feel these days, very judged.

It’s also made me realise that I’ve done some judging. I’ve judged kids on phones and consoles on buses when they are with their parents (something I think I wouldn’t do). How the heck do I know how that parents’ day has been? How do I know how that kids day has been? Don’t you ever want to just play, or chat over messenger to relax? Does that make any of us bad or – worse – unintelligent, because that is also one of the underlying messages here: that uneducated, lazy parents let their kids use tech. Clever, concious middle class ones don’t. And there you have it, smack-bang judgment.

So with all these subtle messages I feel that I’m being judged as a mindless, lazy parent by giving my kids tablets. And I don’t like being judged, especially for my parenting. Ouch.

And at the same time I know I’m anything but.

So, I have to use these feeling to analyse my OWN judgment, and also surrender and just remember that #hatersgonnahate.

And they are gonna LOVE them 🙂 (as well as the books, crafts and other “real” toys they get)

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/evilpeacock/13235511974/”>evilpeacock</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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Tech-haters gonna hate

6 thoughts on “Tech-haters gonna hate

  1. Thank you for that from one who may have judged! You broke it down so well. I often say that I’d never experienced judgment as much as I have since I’ve been a parent, and I hate it. So rock on with your very skillful parenting!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Sometimes others judgment can make you realise you’ve been judging all along, can’t it! Totes know what you mean re: being a parent and judgment. So easy to do, to yourself and others. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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  2. I was a mum who didn’t allow my child to watch TV for the first 12-18 mths of his life. Then I started trying to make him like it because I could see the break it could offer. HA. My son has his own ipad and he is 3. We didn’t go and buy him a new one at so young, rather we were given an old one by my brother. I prefer it this way as he can’t be accidentally going onto my Facebook or email and deleting/posting/sending stuff that he shouldn’t be. Plus I get my own stuff to use when I want to use it! My son is a very active outdoors kid so I don’t feel the need to temper his screen time at home too much. We lead a healthy balanced life that I am more than happy with. Good for you! I bet your kids love their presents!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They did! I worked out most of the kids I know use screens less than the amount of TV we used to watch. It’s just fear of the new sometimes I think. I also think that kids can get “addicted” to anything, even books, to opt out of reality. So their core well being (love!) is more significant to long term happiness than whether they have their own screen or not. balance like you said, is the aim. Xx

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