Will it matter?

will it matter

Don’t know if this has gone viral all over the globe, but on this little speck it’s trending to post the first profile pic you made on Facebook and tag other friends to do the same.

So I did. A lovely smiling face of me and my (then 2 y/o) first child, I look young and happy, with shiny hair, smooth skin, and no bags. I look quite hot actually. My son looks cute. It’s a really nice picture.

I’m not usually officially bothered by the whole aging thing. Yes, yes, I know I’m “young”, but I know some people who have been bothered by every passing year for, like, FOREVER. I’m not.

I like birthdays, like the sense of accomplishment I usually feel, setting new goals, celebrating with friends and family, and progressively more children.

Tbh, what’s bothered me most on the aging subject in recent years is those around me. I don’t usually notice it in myself so much, but because I live abroad I see friends and family infrequently, sometimes years apart, so they look older each time.

I don’t make a value judgment on whether that means they look better or worse, it’s just the years are noticeable. I also find this bothers me seeing my mum get older. Yes, it really bothers me actually. The years are passing, I guess it makes me feel the impermanence of life.

Then there are celebs, have you seen Brad Pitt lately? Or Cameron Diaz? I can’t stand it. I want them to stay young forever, like they were in Thelma & Louise and There’s something About Mary. Indefinitely.

So I posted this old profile picture, and it made me feel good to see a pretty photo of myself, and bad to think I don’t look that nice anymore. For those who have based any sense of themselves around what they look like, losing what they perceived they had is going to be painful.

I have. It is.

One day I will say “I used to be beautiful”.

Will it matter.

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/gwendalcentrifugue/7163627005/”>Gwendal_</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

Will it matter?

11 thoughts on “Will it matter?

  1. Darling, You will always be beautiful just not in a youthful sense of the word. Your heart and your spirit shine through a face at any age. If we consider a beautiful face only to be a young face then ” I used to be beautiful” or, like I have had recently, ” Youre very pretty..( wait for it) for your age” will ring true. Thats the theory anyway.. I totally undertsand the feeling, of course, as I feel the the same about the aging of myself, family and friends too. I see my mum older too and my friends are wait, no it cant be, looking like 40 year old women!! Where it the time go? How much is left? I thought Id be more together by now for my looks not to matter. My youthful glow and skin maturing around my eyes and chin and I no longer get the head turning in the streets (yes, it made me feel powerful, sexy and attractive) but I FEEL more beautiful then I ever did and as my love for myself and my life grows I hope it wont matter……..Brilliant article! So


    1. Is it pure vanity or does it also bother us cos let’s face it older=less time left? (Us and others…). I always was so bloody vain and arrogant and obsessed with looking good, during early motherhood it was also ok to be not trying as hard, but now I’m in society again I feel I’m back in the game, but not looking as hot as pre 3 kids. Such a huuuuge subject for women. So much more to write. Gonna try to be as honest as possible, as difficult as it is, feel I sound like such an insecure whiner! Hehe. Thanks for commenting wise friend 😉 xxx


  2. Great post. The profile pic thing has been going mad here too. No one has tagged me yet thank god as mine is quite dreadful. I am not really looking into the camera but I am dressed up (as in fancy dress) and have my arms flying in the air as I’m about as drunk as you can get. I was about that drunk quite often back then lol. Anyway the second profile pic is nicer and damn my skin is sooooooo smooooooooooth. I want that skin back. I so didn’t appreciate it then. I smoked like a chimney and thought my young looks would last forever *sigh* To be honest I’m convinced it’s parenting that made me look more haggered than age! ha


    1. Yes I agree parenting definitely ages…all those sleepless nights! And that’s just the face. Arghh. I hate that I care and I feel like such a traitor by admitting caring…should be flying the flag of loving myself no matter what, inside and out. Lol. Well, recognizing the negative feeling is the first step, isn’t it?! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. haha you know what though? When I am feeling in a good mood and I put more effort into my appearance I feel soooooo much better. It isn’t bad to want to shine the penny sometimes. You can still love yourself AND want to look and be the best version of yourself that you can be. x


      2. Well said! I think photos are to blame. Did people get as hung up on the past before photos? Probably not. And mirrors, shop windows, shiny spoons. They should all be banned. Just kidding. Honestly I do feel good, and love getting dressed up etc, just having my first little taste of blues about the skin/hair of my 20s, but actually it’s all good! Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh girl. I totally get this! I can see my age more in the last few years and I try not to be disturbed by it but it’s HARD! Especially when I realize it’s my job to help my daughter development a healthy body image etc. I dedicated a post to it called Vanity Fare. I’m sure you would relate…I’m so glad we met – I LOVE your blog! Going to check out the hairy leg tights post next : )


    1. It worries me about the values of beauty I pass on to my daughter, too. I’m not vocal about my appearance related concerns with her, but kids are so intuitive. Gonna check out your piece, feel free to link to interesting article in the comments if you ever want, I’m all for cross-pollination 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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