Click Power

Each click makes a choice: I wonder what types of choices this internet user is making?
I wonder what choices this internet user is making? By sharing this image, have I just supported something I disagree with?

I have a friend who loves a sad story about kids, another who has a thing about the abuse of animals, me, well I seem to have a penchant for stories about disrespecting women.

Hang on, this sounds really weird, I hear you say, kind of sick.

Well, dear reader, I’m just reflecting on The Things We Click On.

Come on ‘fess up, we all do it. Not because we “like” sad stories, but because we can’t resist them. The sadder, more depressing, miserable and shocking ones get the most reads. Negativity is a magnet. We are like moths to a flame.

“Social services criticised over baby xyz case”

“Animals kept in inhumane conditions before slaughter”

“X% of women under 18 say they have been sexually assaulted”

These are he kinds of things that garner our attention.

Now, I’m sure many of you are up to date with the law of attraction: what we see, hear, read and think about tends to manifest in our lives.

What happens then when the whole world is reading things like this?

Buddhists say that we actually create our world with our thoughts. It’s very easy to see that we create the internet with our interests, and with our clicks.

With every click we make, search engines and data analytics pick up on who follows the links, how long we spend on the articles, where we click next. Things that are clicked on grow and grow. And that’s not even the things that are actually shared and go viral.

It’s like neural pathways in the brain: the more they are used, the smoother, faster and easier they will run. And the stronger they will get. That’s how the internet is, things that are clicked on grow in strength, come up faster in searches, become part of our collective consciousness.

I’m not saying we shouldnt be informed. It’s crucial to be informed and the internet is an amazing tool, allowing us to communicate with each other as never before and pull the mask off many powers that be, as well as activate change and exchange vital information.

But, it is part of reality, a plastic ever changing organic entity, and we all have the power to create what type of reality it is.

Just as we can be wise and noble with our thoughts, we can be conscious with our clicks. Because they count.

PS Thanks to Daniel for making his photo, entitled Click-click, free for use on the Creative Commons.

Click Power

My honest thought-train on Kim Kardashian’s bum

What's all the fuss, it's just a couple of bums!
What’s all the fuss, it’s just a couple of bums!

Wow! Big bum.

Very. Small. Waist.

Hips: waist ratio very big. Sexy.

Whiter than I expected. Wonder if she’s naturally that pale. Brave. If that were me I definitely would have gotten a few sun-beds in before the shoot. I shouldn’t think that, I should be happy with my pale skin.

I’m not.

Wonder if she did the shot completely naked. Wonder if she came in in a bathrobe. Is she alone or is there an entourage? Did they see her naked? Did she worry about bikini wax before shoot. Duh! Of course she did, she probably has it waxed daily.

I wonder how “it” is waxed…

I really need to get a bikini wax. Even though it is winter and I’m not going anywhere near a bikini for at least 6 months. But I should be ‘presentable’ at all times. It bothers me that I don’t find my body in it’s natural state presentable. But, ugh, who wants hair. It makes me feel disgusting. I want to be smooth like Kim. At all times.

Shiny, her body is very shiny. Obviously baby oil. They must have sprayed her lots of times. Bet that felt horrible. Did they spray her all over, or just the back?

I wonder if she was cold. I bet she was cold. I would have been freeeeeezing.

This woman loves her bum. Good for her, I think I love her bum. I always wanted my bum to be bigger, and rounder, a bit like that. She’s had kids. I’ve had kids. I wish I could look a bit more like that.

I wonder how the world will see this. Is this important? Is it anti-feminist? Should I have a “view” on it? Wow, all my thoughts so far have been really superficial, shallow, vain and have lead back to my own insecurities about how I look and present myself… Should I be offended? Am I superficial? Am I a bad feminist?

Is this why constant bombarding of sexualised images of women is detrimental to our society’s mental health and view of women as a whole: it constantly reduces women to bodies, pieces of flesh, objects to be judged, eyed up, envied, lusted after, commented on, compared to…

How does this affect us as women? How does it affect men?

I’m curious to see other photos of her, but really I can’t be bothered.

Let’s see what’s going down on Twitter…

Aha…

I’ve been thinking about this, and I don’t think Kim Kardashian’s bum is either feminism or not feminism. It’s just a bum.

She’s right.
Ok. It’s all Ok.
My honest thought-train on Kim Kardashian’s bum

Not so funny

I get yet another link to kids having tantrums and I just want to scream.

The first time last year (on Facebook, predictably) a colleague, knowing I was a mother of children, thought she would show me “hilarious clips of kids losing it over nothing”.

It was children being filmed while being told that their parents have eaten or thrown away all their sweets. In these clips the children are very disturbed, crying and sobbing and obviously in a lot of anguish.

I don’t care how small the reason is (to us) the last thing I want to see are those kinds of emotional reactions. And to top it off they have been provoked by their own parents, called hilarious and then used to make a video that goes viral. I quite frankly find it almost abusive.

A child has little or no private life or privacy, they have relatively few things they can call their own that they are not forced to share, so “small” things mean a lot. Yes, it’s “just” sweets, but it belongs to them and stripping this from them makes them feel totally powerless.

Is watching an already powerless person be stripped of the little rights that they have funny?

How about “parents losing it when being told their house has been robbed” or “funny clips of people being told their loved ones have died in a car crash, then told it’s just a joke”. Hilarious.

This time I didn’t even follow the link, I couldn’t have watched. It annoys me that kids feeling are a) so undervalued and badly judged and b) taken advantage of and betrayed by their parents for the sake of a “funny” video.

Anyone else think it’s a bit weird?

Not so funny

TFI Friday?!

Working in an office, I would love a penny for every time I hear “It’s Friday!”, “At least it’s hump-day” (erm, that’s office speak for Wednesday, not ya birthday, just sayin’),  or “Ugh, Monday” in descending pitches of excitement.
Although I have learned the right things to say, usually just echo or nod, I don’t really agree.
Here’s a secret: I don’t get that “Friday feeling” and haven’t done ever since, let’s see… I had kids.

Pretty much how I feel about Fridays: "not bovvered"
Pretty much how I feel about Fridays: “not bovvered”

When I was a stay at home mum, I really enjoyed what I did, and tbh sometimes dad around at the weekend would throw a spanner in my works and it wouldn’t flow as much. The weekend was just another state with different rules, no better no worse.
Since starting work full-time again just over a year ago I work hard all week and it is challenging to fit it all in: school runs, pick ups, appointments, playdates, after school stuff, shopping and sorting house in the evening. But, I still don’t feel the weekend is a rest or a break or tbh that much different from the week. I still have what I would consider more than a full time job: taking care of a house and minding 3 children.

Also, although my renumareted job isn’t at all high flying or hugely exciting right now, I’m content. I have my desk, my stuff, I know what to do, I have nice colleagues, I drink my little coffees and have my little chats and I just get on with it. I would like to think that if I was literally ticking off the days backwards from Monday, I would know it was time to move on.

I’m not sure if my non-plussed attitude to Friday is a depressing fact, basically that my weekends are devoid of the fun or rest&relaxation that others look forward to, or that I’m actually more or less content with my life so don’t have to live solely for the weekend.

What I do know is that just as I don’t have TFI Friday syndrome, I also don’t have the dread of Monday. Which ain’t no bad thing, especially on a Sunday.

TFI Friday?!

Sweet, sweety, sweetalicious fun

I think nutrition is something most of us think about, worry about. At the moment it seems sugar (avoiding of) seems to be a hot topic. In my house we cook most of our food from scratch (avoids large amounts of hidden sugar), we allow the kids sweets once a week at the sweet shops (memory making, I think) and a free for all at parties (don’t want to make sweets “like diamonds”).

I also just let it roll that they eat sweets whenever offered really (banks, shops etc give them out here in Spain), plus the occasional treats when family are here, special occasions, or just ‘cos we feel like it. I try not to control, I think it almost always has the opposite effect in the long run.

But, of course I worry and I stress that I give them “too much” sugar. Sometimes it feels like there are endless birthdays and outings that involve large amounts of the sweet stuff which is, btw, more addictive than crack apparently. So I do talk to them about healthy balance. Sometimes we take a look at the food pyramid that’s pinned to our fridge and see, like a game, if they have had their portions of this and that for the day, usually it pans out more or less.

A talk about “treats”(!) and how we have them “from time to time” inspired this snippet from my switched-on 8 year old:

Me “Sugar … yada yada yada… empty calories etc…so, really in conclusion, sugar doesn’t give you anything, does it.”

Boychild “Well, yes it does, it gives you a nice taste.”

And that’s it really, absolutely true. It gives you a nice taste, actually let’s put this even better: it gives you an amazing, delicious, uplifting heavenly buzz on the tongue, its lovely, it makes you smile and your taste buds shimmer, yey!

And food, apart from food being The Building Blocks Of Life, and The Cornerstone Of Good Health, is also about pleasure, enjoyment…and just (GASP!) tasting nice.

Whats’ wrong with that?

Sugar is not toxic, it is not evil. It is food that brings pleasure, and when taken in ‘normal’ amounts is fun and tasty.

Pass the cake please!

 

 

 

Sweet, sweety, sweetalicious fun

A little slice of heaven

The good times are here.

G and I are both in full time employment for the first time in 5 years. We are about to receive 2 full pay checks, which means paying bills on time this month, means no need for family to top up our income, means long overdue visits to the dentist, means buying some glasses and knick knacks for the house, a few spring clothes for the bairns, and going out for a celebratory lunch. Life is good.

Boychild has been away for the last 3 weeks in Cancun, and now in London doing all sorts of fun stuff like a parkour course for kids. We are incredibly lucky to have parents young enough, wealthy enough and willing enough to take him (and eventually girlchild and babyking) for amazing holidays. He is back in 3 days, and we have missed him.

Spring is here in all its glorious frivolity. The eggshell blue of the sky is brought into full contrast behind the sprays of tender green that have shot out in a matter of weeks, giving the city its leafy outdoor roof back. This living cover is one of the things I love about Barcelona.

I have spent the last week being a SAHM again, it’s Easter hols, and loved it. We have been to the beach, the zoo, the park, seen friends (mine and girlchild’s), baked (twice!), painted Easter themed stuff, watched The Neverending Story cuddled up together on the couch (and, oh, how I felt the solemn right of passage as we did so!), talked, laughed, connected.

And last but not least I have invented a new habit for myself. As G works most evenings now, and I don’t have boychild here, after I put the babyking and girlchild to bed and then tidied up, I set myself up in bed with tea, book, iPad, phone, food, nail kit or whatever else I think i might need and I CHILL, baby. OK, so some nights it doesn’t work out (i.e I fall asleep with them, or have a load of housework to do, or someone calls me and it just gets too late), but when it does, it looks something like this photo I whatsapped to my girls the other night….

In my books, it doesn’t get much better than this…

Image

 

 

 

A little slice of heaven