Reading the 10 secrets of happy people, or some such, I came across:
- “Misery loves company, stay away from negative people if you want to be happy.”
I couldn’t disagree more. Sad and ‘negative’ people need love and support, not to be shunned like lepers (once were). If your positivity is genuine and strong, you will be able to be around sad people and stay supportive, giving them hope and comfort.
Positive thinking and the laws of attraction get the full thumbs up in my mind, absolutely. But I think it’s a bit of a sickness to equate that philosophy with only socialising with people that seem happy, upbeat and sorted. Really.
Next time your harassed mum-with-3-kids friend (…ahem…) needs to let off steam, will you listen and let her sound off, no advice, just staying still and emitting good vibes of peace and love towards her? Or think, I don’t want to be tainted with negativity, and cut it short.
If you know of someone ‘negative’ in need, reach out and support, don’t recoil.
So Many Right Ways 
I totally agree with you that friends going through a tough time need support! That’s what friends are for! But some people are organically negative, constant Debbie Downer’s who thrive on drama, after drama, after drama, and I think that saying applies to them. I personally can only take so much of other people’s negativity in my life but have lots of friends and we support each other during the occasional tough times. That’s what it’s all about, like you said! 🙂
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Yes I was pretty much going to say what you said! I am more than happy to be there for a stressed tired friend. But someone that whines about everything from which way the door opens to the type of butter the shop used on their sandwich. Those people, I can do without. In saying that though they are usually like that because of some deep seated unhappiness in their life. So here is my new promise to myself: if I can, I will help them in some way. Sometimes we aren’t close enough to those people to really know what’s going on so it’s hard to interfere but I’ll try my best to even just do something nice for them. Maybe it will be the thing to turn them around 🙂
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Hey, thanks for commenting
I know, I know, it’s a fine line… And we should all attempt to stay positive and avoid moaning… But I think there’s a use in a kind of “service” to moaners, even if its just listening and radiating positive vibes, rather than just shutting them out.
Btw, if we are talking laws of attraction, wouldn’t purposely staying away from negative people actually draw them in more as you would be (inversely) focusing on them…? Just a thought!
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Hey, thanks for commenting 😉
I know, I know, it’s a fine line… And we should all attempt to stay positive and avoid moaning… But I think there’s a use in a kind of “service” to moaners, even if its just listening and radiating positive vibes, rather than just shutting them out.
Btw, if we are talking laws of attraction, wouldn’t purposely staying away from negative people actually draw them in more as you would be (inversely) focusing on them…? Just a thought!
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Totally agree, sometimes all a person needs is a little acceptance and empathy. I’ve learned that in my counseling work over and over! Inside, I am thinking, “My god, this person is such a whiner. If they would just get a clue, etc, etc,” but then if I can just shut my thoughts up and stay in a place of acceptance and empathy, they amaze me by figuring things out on their own.
But then again, in my personal life, I will of course be there for my friends, but if they are constantly in drama and I am consistently giving more than receiving, well…I do find I eventually need to decide if I want them in my life.
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Hey, sorry late reply…!
Wise words there. Giving empathy and just listening really does give the space to work things out for onesself…the best kind of learning.
I find that often a person moaning has a need for something (not for the problem to be solved) but to be heard empathetically. At the risk of being pop-psychologist, perhaps if this need is ignored in childhood (parents ignoring or getting angry at whining) they still need to do it as adults! So its like just accepting the need to whine like a need to cry or what have you, and trying not to let it get under our skin… 😉
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